I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
