Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
No subtext here. People are naked.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
