By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
