She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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