Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
