Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We got so high we made milksteak
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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