Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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