i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
