The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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