k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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