so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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