I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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