i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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