Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
