I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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