I cockslap morals
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
