I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
oh god the rape fog is back!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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