The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
