So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
