i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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