we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
