Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
