How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
