it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
