I must be too annoying 4 u.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
