it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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