I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
