Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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