We won't sleep together?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
