Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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