Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
