You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
ttyl tear gas
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
