these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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