I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
