i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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