Im at strip club and am horny
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
