Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
