you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Someone came in the potted fern
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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