i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I love having hate sex.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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