You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
