why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
