put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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