her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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