I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
as a side note pls kill me
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
