You smell like a Billy Joel song
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
