yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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