we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
