in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
