Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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