That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
